For several weeks now I have been writing Fairy Tale Thoughts and little messages that have been somewhat applicable to my life. Perhaps they have not applied to me directly, but to those that are intertwined in the divorce web that we find ourselves caught up in.
I have received so many messages saying that my readers miss my daily bantering about my life, the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. I am caught between two worlds. The world of an enchanting situation, moving forward in love, peace, and joy; and the afflicted world of divorce, gag-ordered by attorneys, but also by my conscience, trying to be considerate to those who could be on the receiving end of angst by reading my blog.
What is a Blog Princess to do? I am going to try to write things carefully.
Over the last few years my life has been a chaotic whirlwind of a sorrowful spouse’s addiction, a wonderful child’s mental challenges, a beautiful house voodoo’d enough to still be on the market for almost two years, my own physical issues resulting from said agonies. Then I stepped into my fairy tale. I reconnected with Mr. Someone Else and we began the simultaneously jubilant and arduous task of merging our lives. We have created upheaval from our past, and we have created a foundation for our future.
Many in our lives have not fared well with our following our hearts, our destiny, our personal truths. We have been judged, criticized, yelled at, and emotionally beaten up by others, and we have taken it on with strength, will, and determination. But it has not been without turmoil, hurt, and mental exhaustion. We have held on to each other during our dark storm, and we know that the light is there ready to shine for those in our world, if only they would let it.
We have been in the thick of battle, we have lived surrounded by a firing squad and under a microscope. And it is not over. We are moving soon, away from our little home where we have some protection from the other side, and into hostile territory. We are moving to Mr. Someone Else’s town, only a short walk away from where he used to live, where his Mrs. Ex still resides with their children. We do so bravely. Courageously. Stupidly?!!? But we know that is where we need to go, and in so doing are laying down our new roots, for ourselves and for our children.
We have done what we have needed to do, step-by-step, to make both of our families’ lives better. We know in our hearts we are doing the right thing for all the right reasons without justification and rationalization. While some would say we have taken the “easy way out,” in fact we have done just the opposite and have faced the hardest things we could have faced in doing what we have done, and we have the open wounds to prove it.
We live in our bubble of wonderment with each other, and it is infiltrated by others’ anger. We have never stopped feeling compassion for those we have hurt, but we also continue on our path towards peace and pray that they will soon be able to do the same.
We are strongly united as we prepare for the next big step–our move to a beautiful but bitter community, to a place where we will bear scarlet letters on our chests and feel shrouds of negativity behind our backs. We will live in armor, we will shield our children from the shrapnel, we will guard our fortress. And I will tell the tale as I can, celebrating my fairy tale in all of its grim splendor.