I wrote a post recently about living in the gap – repercussions from my pseudo-nomadic life in search of peace, health and well-being. Humans are constantly searching for ways to relieve stress. “Seeking Relief” was tattoo’d on my forehead forever.
I never published the post – about the gap of solitude after losing a lot of friends I really cared about along my life’s complicated road – because that gap has suddenly shifted. It’s not personal anymore, and it’s massive.
Now I’m part of a growing gap caused by the insane situation of our country. The very foundation that I counted on to sustain me once I stepped outside of my own life’s extreme craziness behind closed doors, is now completely gone. The outside world appears to have gone mad.
Every morning and all day long it’s impossible to escape the latest disastrous news about our country falling into what feels like a growing dictatorship not only weakening, but removing the once-stable land I knew.
Sure, stability is perceived, but only the most asleep or stupidly stubborn people can truly deny the reality of our present moment.
I have tried to sidebar the politics in choice of focusing on my own life. I have tried to soften the external voices, neutralize my emotional reactions, and believe that truth and justice will prevail. But it’s not fast enough, because we are all quickly being engulfed in a dangerous sinkhole of “alternative” reality brought on by people who ironically imitate the very people I tried to escape most of my life.
What the hell with this life lesson?
For decades I lived disillusioned in a Twilight Zone, sane amidst insanity, only recently finally finding “relief.” It is possible – happiness, unconditional love, freedom from abuse, I have it. But that feeling of safety, the one all humans need to survive, it’s slowly slipping away.
I cried this morning when I heard the words of the president – not a president or a person I would ever choose to be affiliated – declare that he would make Mexico pay for a wall no matter what he had to do to enforce that – and I have been in this kind of situation before. A situation where a giant bully makes an insane declaration giving zero care, concern or consideration to the people who they are hurting – even destroying – at their own love of manipulation and extreme power. It’s a sociopath at their finest.
Yes it was on a small scale when it was personal compared to our now national and global crisis. But it drastically impacted my life, so much so the damage may never be fully healed for me or those closest to me. You just learn to live with it.
But I don’t know how to live with this. The “tools” aren’t working. I’m not sure the majority of humans know how to live with this. People are visibly frantic, terrified, upset, sickened, outraged and sad. It’s like a fast-moving virus blanketing our daily existence, rocking our lives and tilting our world.
I have a dear friend whose health is failing her – to the point she is not sure she even wants to live. When we talked about the impact of this new government on masses of people all the way to the nucleus of individual families, she said, “Well, when he takes away healthcare I probably won’t be around to have to worry about it.”
But the rest of us will.
So where do we turn? What do we cling to? How do we endure? How do we live in the gap?
Today I’ll simply take a cue from some classic Winnie The Pooh wisdom. Something that feels good. The sweet, silly old bear sits on a rock, sings a song and eats some honey while waiting for a friend to walk by.
“Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least when you let them.” (Benjamin Huff, The Tao of Pooh.)